April 24, 2013-The owners of Olympia Beer, Pabst Brewing Company, are serious about finding Bigfoot and are offering $1,000,000 to the lucky person who can provide undeniable proof of the creature’s existence. The prize will be paid at the rate of $25,000 a year for 40 years. Not enough to retire on, but it will keep the fridge well stocked with beer. Oddly, the company is not offering beer for life as a part of the prize.
The contest rules are very specific and designed to quash all the clever ruses devised by contestants who will doubtless imbibe a beer or three while hatching their plan.
“Evidence may include, but is not limited to DNA Evidence,” the contest rules state. Then it starts to get icky. “DNA Evidence may include hair, blood, tissue or saliva that proves the DNA sequence of the donor shows that said donor resides in the primate evolutionary family tree, among other apes or hominids, but does not have the same genetic markers and DNA sequence as any known species.”
Getting Bigfoot’s saliva sounds like a challenge, especially since the rules go on to say, “When we say safe capture that means Bigfoot has to be alive and breathing folks, with no wounds,” the contest website states. “That’s right you can’t use any act of violence, no guns/knives/boxing gloves/nets/etc, only sugar or sweets to lure him in.” How about a cold beer?
The contest ends March 2014 so you have just 11 months to tramp through the forests of the Pacific Northwest to find your favorite Sasquatch alive, before he captures you! Lotsa luck!